Seeking Loans, Adding Interest with My Books

Introvert Hell: When we find ourselves having to ask for help, so of course we do everything we can so we don’t feel like we’re imposing too much.Last night I set up a GoFundMe account to see if I could find people who would support me with loans* to enable me and my youngest daughter to move to a better place, knowing they would get copies of both of my work-in-progress books.

I know some of you know I’m about as introverted as they come, that all I really want to do is research and write when I have free time. (However, if people want to talk about a subject I know and love, I can talk all night!) So I don’t have a huge number of friends or many family members available to support me. I don’t socialize very often in the area where I live because it’s a small town and I haven’t found very many like-minded people. In the ten years I’ve lived here, I’ve gone to a few writer’s groups locally and in downtown Seattle, but even spending money for gas felt like too much.

I’ve stayed where I am for the sake of my daughters, but it appears my youngest daughter and I can’t stay any longer. I have to believe there is a reason this is happening with all of the incredible things that have happened to us before (If you haven’t read any of my other posts, please check out Pacific Northwest Blog Hop & Exciting News about Upcoming Book! as well as the posts listed at the bottom of that page).

The text of the GoFundMe is posted below and here is the link: http://www.gofundme.com/helpceejaeget2work

I hope you will consider supporting me in the next step of my journey, and perhaps sharing this with friends and family who might be interested in my writing, as well!


Dreams: Put them out there, then let them go with the faith God will take us where we’re supposed to go.They say we should, “Ask and we will receive,” but I thought it would be really awesome if everyone could receive something in the process!

So, I’m asking for loans,* which will be paid back along with the interest I hope you have about getting a copy of my memoir (when it’s finished) and Critical Revelations, which is almost done.

I’ve decided to ask for help because I know God is active in our lives because of the experiences I’ve had, but I also know that God doesn’t work alone. On May 13, I searched for the word “change” in the TED Talk archives, and I was directed to “Poverty, Money – and Love” by Jessica Jackley, the founder of Kiva, an organization that facilitates the distribution of personal loans to help people make positive transitions, and I thought, “Maybe personal loans are the answer to my prayers.”

Most of the people who know me know I’ve given everything to my kids so they could be happy and get what they need. I also haven’t gotten money I am owed from my divorce, and I have been receiving so little pay, sometimes working two jobs, I’ve lived hand-to-mouth for over ten years. Then, in January I lost my job because I asked for a pay increase, and now I’ve realized I’m in a place where I can’t find another job that fits my skills, and I’m overqualified for everything else. So, on June 30 I will be losing my apartment.

A few people have offered help in different ways, but I have been afraid to ask for what I want, what I believe is best for me and my youngest daughter, because it seemed like it was too much to ask, but I want to believe I can get there, so here it is.

I want to move to the Seattle Metro area where there are a lot more job options and I can be seriously considered, but I still don’t know how long it will take to find work. I may have to take piece work and manage with gaps in my income, and I need to be able to stay in one place for at least a year, because I can’t move my daughter in the middle of her senior year of high school.

Some of you also know I spend every spare minute I have writing. I know lots of people have negative views about writers, thinking they’ll never make any money, but there is a possibility that my books will generate some income. I think you will agree when I can finish Critical Revelations and send you a copy, but here is a little info:

I’ve been writing for a long time, but about three years ago I realized that I’ve been on a lifelong spiritual journey. I started a memoir, and I’ve shared a few stories on my blog at ceejae-devine.com, but it’s been really hard to figure out how to go about sharing my experiences. I’ve been shown in a number of ways how God reveals him/herself to us and I’ve developed ideas about what that means to everyone. My memoir tells the story about how I began to recognize that God was showing up in my life and how I’ve interpreted the experiences in relation to who I am, and Critical Revelations revolves around an event last July that led to astonishing information about a few popular spiritual concepts.

Because of my experiences, I began to research other people’s ideas about spirituality, and a few of them didn’t make sense to me, but I never dreamed I’d be able to challenge any of them. Then, last July I was directed to information that gave me what I needed and also provided a perfect way for me to share some of my perspectives. It was challenging to figure out how to approach the material, but the information and ideas I present will actually have a positive effect on everyone!

I have about a month to make this decision. I’m praying that I can get what I need to be able to make this transition—to get moved, get back to work, and get back to my writing.

Thank you for reading this, and I hope you’ll keep both of us in your prayers!

* As much as I want to do what is right, I realized that if a lot of people donated amounts from $1 – $99, I would have a logistical nightmare on my hands. So, I will only be able to repay people who contribute $100 or more, but everyone will get a copy of Critical Revelations as well as my memoir as soon they are finished (if you know how many hours go into writing a book, then you know it’s still a really good deal!). I will receive e-mails for every contribution, and I will send updates to keep everyone informed about my progress.

Entry Submitted for Consideration in “I Am Subject” Anthology

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“They” tell us there’s a right way to do things. “They” tell us the time isn’t right. “They” tell us we’ll make a mistake if we don’t do what they say is important. “They” tell us everything is fine just the way things are. We often don’t even know who “they” are. “They” live in… Continue Reading


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