Tag Archives: IRS

We have to learn this B.S. because why?

Dis Education? It’s Your Future...Fall Semester finals are coming next week, but that’s not the only time many of us find ourselves groaning, “Why do we have to learn this garbage?”

I wish no one had to spend their time learning what they think is B.S.

I wish everyone could devote a little of that time to learning about important things. Things that will really, really matter in that time and place in the not-too-distant future when we go, “Hey, why am I getting screwed here?”

Everyone knows History and English classes are a waste of time, right? Who needs to know how to conjugate a verb? Who needs to know how to spell words like “extortion” or “fraud” or “forfeit?” Those are only used in TV shows and movies, right?

Sadly, they’re words that too many people get to know some time after they sign on the dotted line, like after we get married or get a credit card or buy a car. How many people even think about the fact that marriage is a legal contract?

“Legal” means that, at some point down the road, it’s highly likely that a number of people are going to be throwing big, complicated words around.

Since my divorce (which started over six years ago) I’ve gotten to know “legal” far too well. This afternoon was spent writing a “love letter” to the IRS. I beseeched them to care about me. To care about what I had to say. To pay attention to every word because if they don’t and I lose, I’ll lose lots of money. I don’t want to waste the IRS’s time with a bunch of garbage and I needed to know the right words so I could clearly explain what happened.

Imagine if I wrote something like this:

Mr. Idiot, also known as my ex, tried to take money from me and it’s bad. What he did was wrong and I need ur help. I filled out one of your forms and please let me know if you can stop him from what he is doing to take my money.

But I didn’t.

I started with something like this:

Mr. X used a tax document, the XX, which is a legal document submitted to a Federal Program, to extort funds that are not rightfully his.

He expects that I will submit XXX and that he will be awarded the exemption.

I believe that deduction should not be awarded to him according to Publication 007 and the method he used constitutes tax fraud…

Constitutes? Rightfully? Submit? I imagine many young women now think that we only “submit” when it comes to having kinky sex, like in Fifty Shades of Grey, and “constitute” is what they do to fruit juice.

But if we don’t learn how to write well, if we don’t pay attention to how to spell, if we decide education is just for dweebs, we’re the ones who are going to get squeezed and not in a good way.

When we dis education, we dis our own future: a future of unequivocally being able to defend ourselves.


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